Just something about earlier today …

I started off walking on the treadmill, then I ran for 15. It’s been a while so I’m working on my breathing again. I’ve always been one of those people who, no matter how fit they are or how often they actually run, it just kills me. I fucking hate it because I know the hardest part is going to be my breathing and that’s going to make it harder for me to keep going. I get better at it if I do it often, but I never get to the point where I don’t have to manage it and I don’t dread it. I’m always envious of friends who can breathe well during running and can just enjoy it.

After my first 15 of running, I walked uphill for 10 at a that speed just about before you should start jogging. Then I went back to running. And I could breathe. It honestly freaked me out. I was wondering if maybe I was just going to pass out and that’s why I could breathe. Or something. But I could and my legs weren’t that achy, although I couldn’t feel them much … it was like walking. But I was running. And breathing like I was just sitting there.

There’s not really much point to this post but to wonder if this is how the people who are good at and love running feel when they go. And maybe now that I’ve felt it, I won’t dread it so much. I just have to find that sweet spot. I wonder if having not eaten since last night had anything to do with it. Or the L-carnitine I put in my water.

I don’t think I’ve ever sweat this much …

Fasted cardio, kind of just mixed up running and fast uphill walking. 50 minutes.

Now food and later legs. Let’s see how this goes lol.

I can’t fucking wait to go work out.

It’s leg day, bitches, and allllll this work angst is going into mine.

It takes me 🙌 ‘that long’ to take me from healthy eating to wanting to distract myself with brownies and sour patch kids. *sigh* the life of an emotional eater :(

A few teenagers at the gym tonight. They either cleared out and watched from the foyer, or followed me around and copied what I did.

I’ve never felt like a cougar before. Or maybe that’s MILF, minus the kids, since I wasn’t going after any of them. Interesting.

If you don’t want me to answer publicly, send me the fan mail. I always forget to mark things private from my phone, lol.

Reblog and add what you’re rewarding yourself with once you reach your goals.

increased-ferocity:

Poweriser velocity stilts, sleeve tattoo, new running shoes.

More goals! (And more cute workout clothes haha)

I’m so exhausted wow. This morning I woke up and stepped out of bed, and the outsides of my ankles went crazy. They are soooo sore and kind of painful. It’s a good thing I’m wearing my Danskos today, they relieve it a little bit. But my hips and my back and my shoulders hurt, too. I tried to take a bath to help this last night and then I didn’t watch the water like an idiot an it wasn’t hot enough so it didn’t work. Idk if the apartment has a hot tub or not but if they do I might be using it after work. Hopefully it might help because this is ridiculous.

I got a call from a transgendered woman today. It was a complaint line call and at first I was like shiiiiiit why me? Maybe 5% of our calls are from that line and half the time they’re people with the wrong number, so it’s always like a gamble when you log into it. Anyway I ended up kind of glad I got the call. Not that anyone else would have probably been awful about it but just, I’m really supportive because of friends who are either transgendered or transsexual. She got a letter from a community she applied at that labeled her ‘Mr.’ even though they’d already met her and her name was obviously feminine. Idk it’s kind of something you’d think they’d work hard to not screw up because apparently she’d been open about her gender with them. She was really polite about it but clearly upset, and I kind of just wanted to hug her and tell her it won’t always be that way. I’m sure she knows that, it just made my heart hurt :(

I’m watching Revenge and Sammie the dog is dying and I’m just sitting here holding Dorian and crying.